Just a heads up, this isn't really a review, more of a rant. It's going to be full of spoilers! So if you haven't seen the movie and you want to. Don't read this. Everyone else, scroll down.
ONCE AGAIN! SPOILER WARNING!
Sucker Punch is a bizarre film. It's not really a movie, it's more eye candy than anything. In fact, the movie has more in common with a porno than a big-budget Action-Fantasy. You're not there for the paper-thin and non-existent plot, you're there for the fucking. Or in this case, the action-packed fantasy/sci-fi dream sequences. If you look at Sucker Punch as a movie. It's an atrocity. Lacking any sort of substance or continuity. But as eye candy, it's a thrill ride suitable for our FPS-obsessed ADD generation.
Unfortunately for me, I tried to make sense out of the plot, that's where my madness began. The movie tries to pull some Inception shit, with a reality, inside a reality, inside a reality. It's hard to tell which characters are real and what is actually happening in real life.
It all starts off pretty reasonable, the main character, Baby Doll, is sentenced to an insane asylum by her sinister Step-Father, who is after her inheritance. To cope with her life in asylum, Baby Doll imagines it as a club that secretly doubles as a brothel. There she is introduced to four other girls: Sweet Pea, Rocket, Blondie and Amber.
This is where things start to get weird. In order to transport to the alternate imaginary world of badassery. Baby Doll does a sultry, hypnotizing dance (That we never get to see.) and transports her mind into such magical places as Steampunk Trench Warfare, a Fantasy Battlefield and a futuristic transport train. These scenes are super cool and make the up the bulk of the film's appeal.
But the film is a pile of inconsistencies. Only three of the five main characters are actually observed in the real-life Asylum situations (At least to my knowledge.) Two of them die in the club reality, without any consequence in the asylum one and Vanessa Hudgens has a stupid face. It's shit like that. The character's cover is blown when Stupidface Hudgens breaks down into tears for no reason and is overheard discussing the plan by Blue, the asylum director/club owner. Why is she so upset? What exactly did she say?
Another confusing situation is when Baby Doll and her cohorts acquires the knife, one of the items that is required to escape. As they snatch it, they're apprehended by Blue, who punishes one of them and kills stupidface and another one. When Baby Doll is attacked by Blue a couple scenes later, she has the knife taped to the bottom of a drawer with the rest of the items. How did it get there? Based the on the scenes prior, there was not opportunity to hide the knife. So what the fuck?
As I mentioned a couple times, two of the girls, Amber and Blondie are shot by Blue for their offenses against him. He does it in front of the Asylum therapist/Dance instructor, Madame Gorski, who doesn't alert the police. Did he actually murder the characters? Did they exist outside of the Club reality. Doesn't seem like it. Sweet Pea and Rocket are the only main characters, aside from Baby Doll, that you directly observe at the beginning, at least to my knowledge. So what the fuck?
If you can somehow understand this movie in ways I cannot, be sure to explain things for me, because I am confused as shit. Other than that, this movie was not worth the $12 I paid on opening night. Not at all.
- Kyle K.
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