The Fifth Element Review

In the mood for some science fiction, I decided to rent a film I had not seen in many years. In fact, I probably only saw about five minutes of the beginning on TV when I was about eight years old. After some research, I finally found the movie title, The Fifth Element.

The story of the movie was set in future, where an armada of aliens is readying to attack Earth. Humanity's only hope for survival is the gathering of all five elements (water, fire, earth, air and an unknown form). That unknown form is the alien Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) who must save the planet from destruction while joining up with former soldier/taxi driver Korben Dallas (Bruce Willis).

For all of my curiousities and surprise at the majority of positive reviews I had seen, I could not believe any of my senses at how much of a complete mess this movie was. The direction is so sloppy that the movie plays itself as a comedy half the time and nearly every single actor feels like they've downed a barrel of coffee.

Gary Oldman, an actor who has proved his worth as an actor time and time again throughout his career, is absolutely absurd as the film's villain, Mr. Zorg. You don't even need to see the ridiculous outfit he wears, just listen to one sentence of this man's dialogue and you'll turn into a hyena. He's not threatening, nor is he serious. He's just a dumb joke.

But even Zorg is nothing compared to the travesty that is Chris Tucker as Ruby Rhod. A futuristic radio personality, Rhod is considered to be sexiest being in the universe and has an ego to match. Imagine a man dressed practically in drag, with hairstyles that make the Whos of Dr. Seuss look sublte and a voice so high and obnoxious you will spend every second of his screentime hoping the villains aim for his jugular. How in the world does that scream sexy to any reasonably minded person?

The only actor who is an exception to these eccentric performances is Jovovich as the alien stranger, Leeloo. She wanders into the film with very little knowledge of her surroundings and acts like a child amazed by their new environment. The way her character is written would have been fine all together, if it weren't for her romantic sub plot with Korben. There is no chemistry whatsoever with Jovovich and Willis. You will receive a more accurate impression that these two are father and daughter instead of lovers!

Fortunately, Willis is one of the few actors who actually knows the dangers of overacting. You will see little difference between his regular roles, but it's definetely a breath of fresh air when you get to see him act.

But for the movie's insane environment, it does have great visual effects, set designs and costumes to bring it to life. You'll feel like you've stepped into another place in time and maybe even have a little bit of Star Wars nostalgia. Then you'll watch the movie for itself and just have Jar Jar Binks nostalgia.

The plot of the movie is told with dialogue that doesn't know how or when to slow down and is so mindbogging that even after watching the movie with subtitles I was still half clueless about what was going on. Its musical score will change moods so irregularly that you won't know what kind of genre the movie is by the end of it.

The Fifth Element is a circus. It's a group of actors dressed up, honking each other's noses in the expectation that everyone will get a good laugh without realizing that the story is supposed to be serious. Many of the actors have done better work in their careers and it astounds me at how any of them didn't hear the director and wonder what kind of madness must be in their head.

-Braydon K