Josh Brolin, the man who rose to fame with the childhood classic, The Goonies, now has stepped into the world of comic books and tumbleweeds by taking on the role of DC Comic’s western rogue, Jonah Hex in the film adaptation of the same name.
Development hell is over for this film project, but is this an oasis in the desert or just a mirage? With the premier of its first trailer, it’s time to saddle up.
The preview opens up in the 1800s with a boy tied up, calling for his father, Jonah Hex. Hex however is unable to reach his son, as a group of thugs led by a man named Turnbull (John Malkovich) set the house on fire with the boy inside. But Turnbull’s wrath is not yet extinguished, as he lays a hot branding on Hex’s face to “remind (him) of the man who took away everything (he) had.”
The heavy facial burns have apparently left Hex with more than a scarring, but also the supernatural ability to return the dead to life and apparently the unique talent of vomiting crows. One might ask then why Hex doesn’t simply use said abilities to bring his son back, but perhaps the question will be addressed in the film.
Apparently there is also a third ability that comes with Hex’s new makeover; terrible one liners that don’t even make sense by regular action movie standards. One scene involves Hex confronted by five thugs, including their boss. With five coffins conveniently lined against the nearby walls, Hex remarks, “I’m thinking you might need eight.” Unless there are more thugs in said scene, which the trailer does not acknowledge, how does that make any logical sense?
Development hell is over for this film project, but is this an oasis in the desert or just a mirage? With the premier of its first trailer, it’s time to saddle up.
The preview opens up in the 1800s with a boy tied up, calling for his father, Jonah Hex. Hex however is unable to reach his son, as a group of thugs led by a man named Turnbull (John Malkovich) set the house on fire with the boy inside. But Turnbull’s wrath is not yet extinguished, as he lays a hot branding on Hex’s face to “remind (him) of the man who took away everything (he) had.”
The heavy facial burns have apparently left Hex with more than a scarring, but also the supernatural ability to return the dead to life and apparently the unique talent of vomiting crows. One might ask then why Hex doesn’t simply use said abilities to bring his son back, but perhaps the question will be addressed in the film.
Apparently there is also a third ability that comes with Hex’s new makeover; terrible one liners that don’t even make sense by regular action movie standards. One scene involves Hex confronted by five thugs, including their boss. With five coffins conveniently lined against the nearby walls, Hex remarks, “I’m thinking you might need eight.” Unless there are more thugs in said scene, which the trailer does not acknowledge, how does that make any logical sense?
After Hex pulls out a pair of machine guns from either side of his horse (yes, you’re reading correctly), we’re introduced to the film’s leading lady, Leila (Megan Fox). Leila is a prostitute that knows Hex from her past and apparently needed to take lessons of how to sound Southern. She’s not learning very well.
At a bar, Hex is confronted by another thug who sets him up for another nonsensical one-liner. The thug asks him what happened to his face, so Hex retorts by blasting him through a wall with his gun, asking what happened to his. If a physical force that strong were to hit the thug in the face, he wouldn’t be able to scream as he took the blow of the shot, because he wouldn’t have a head.
Confronted by a group of government officers, Hex pulls a gun on one of them for even mentioning the name of Turnbull. We’re then shown a brief flashback to the beginning of the trailer to recap on the origin of Hex’s scarring. This film project must not care about its marketing if they’re irrelevantly showing scenes for a second time and not trying to give the audience a wider range of how big the film is.
Turnbull has apparently reappeared and the government wants Hex to kill him. Hex goes to his gunsmith for firepower, where we’re shown technological weaponry that pays remarkable resemblance to that of modern warfare. This gives the film a very sloppy steam punk style to it, which is not unlike that of Wild Wild West.
Hex and Leila are shown in a montage firing their guns endlessly at enemies, as Hex confronts Turnbull to settle his vengeance on top of a mechanical warship. The trailer promptly finishes with the two tied up, weaponless. Hex says the thugs must have searched Leila thoroughly in order to find all her arsenal, to which she asks “Wouldn’t you?”
The first glimpse at Hex shows very little originality and poor performances from most of the actors. Malkovich shows some strength to his role as the antagonist. Brolin also steps into the gunslinger presence, but hardly offers anything to separate him from any of the other clichés. If Jonah Hex is indeed DC Comic’s best to show for the summer of 2010, it has plenty it needs to work on.
RATING: 1/10
-Braydon K
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