Alcohol and Gaming - A Study

This was supposed to be an experiment to determine how good/bad someone gets while playing video games. The results are kind of sketchy, especially due to the fact that we were both drunk, and there wasn't really any results at all. But in my sobriety, I shall do the best that I can to make you understand these "results."

- Kyle K.
 
 Me and my guest guinea pig, James C. Each had to choose games based on specific genres that we're good at. James preference was sports, but he was also good at Dual-stick shooters, I'm a platformer and SCHMUP kind of guy. We started drinking for a bit, then moved onto the first game of the night. for the sake of informing you, James was drinking Bacardi White Rum mixed with Knock-off Pepsi-cola, while I drank Fireball Whisky mixed with Knock-off 7Up. Good times. Now, read on.

10: 45 - Alcohol Consumption begins.

Game 1 - NHL '10 (Sports)

James - New York Rangers
Kyle - Minnesota Wild

11:10 - Kyle figures out controls. Hits James.
11:14 - Kyle scores an upsetting goal. James is not amused.
11:18 - Minnesota leads 1-0. Period 2 starts.
11:19 - James gets a shitty goal. Kyle is indifferent.
11:22 - Another shitty goal by James. Actually, it was beautiful.
11:27 - Rangers lead 2-1. Final Period Starts. Kyle begins to giggle at random points.
11:28 - Another shitty goal by James. Kyle giggles.\
11:32 - SHITTY GOAL! James admits to it's shit-ness.
11:36 - James wins 4-1. Bearshare is on his team. (What?)

 James Celebrates by being a smug bastard.

After quoting MacGruber many, many times, James leaves to pee for the first time of the night. We argue over what exactly Charades is. Now, we move onto the next game, something I was a better at. The rules for Metal Slug XX were simple. We get as far as we can, once both of us have seen the Continue screen twice, we're done.

Game 2 - Metal Slug XX (Platformer)

James - Ralf
Kyle - Tarma

11:41 - Game begins - Chips run out. Panic ensues!
11:43 - Jame dies. Silly.
11:48 - Kyle gets a game over once.
11:50 - Kyle Game overs twice. James does for the first time. Now on stage 3.
11:55 - Kyle game overs for a 4th time, James finally gets his 2nd. Made it to the 4th stage.

Drinking the Shame away.

As I failed miserably at a game I'm good at, I take a bathroom break while stumbling through my dark house. I managed to eat an entire roll of Chorizo Sausage before returning with Salsa and chips.

Game 3 - I MAED A GAM3 W1TH ZOMBIES!!1 (Dual-stick Shooter)
12:10 - The game begins.
12:11 - Kyle sings the entire song.
12:16- Kyle game overs with a score of 154750.
12:18 - James game overs with a score of 277100.

 Another win for James. But I'm victorious in the  fact that I can sing the entire song. At this point I began to question James' drunkeness, but a quick peak at his bottle showed that he had been drinking as much as me. The next game was something I knew he wouldn't be good at.


Game 4 - Protect me Knight! (Action-RPG)
12: 24 - Game begins.
12: 27 - Salsa almost runs out!
12:29 - James has to pee.
12:37 - We be schooling.
12:47 - The last battle might start finally.
12:49 - Protect me Knight is beaten. First success of the night.
12:50 - Kyle gets the higher score. Rejoices.

I guessed Correctly, I kicked James ass in terms of points at the end of the game. But this was also the only game of the night where we managed to actually complete it, which is pretty good I must say. The salsa runs out, so we move onto our final game of the night, another Sports game, but one I was better at.

Game 5 - Tecmo Bowl Throwback

12:57 - Another pee run for James.
1:02 - Game starts

Kyle - New England Sharks
James - Green Bay

1:08 - New England up 3-0
1:13 - Green Bay up 7-3
1:15 - Kyle gets an interception. James is not amused.
1:16 - Green bay up 7-6
1:17 - Halftime show!
1:18 - James gets an interception. Kyle is not amused.
1:21 - Kyle fumbles.
1:23 -Green Bay up 14-6
1:25 - James gets a safety. Green Bay up 16-6
1:27 - Green Bay up 19-6
1:31 - James wins 19-6. Kyle is sad, but also happy.
1:35 - James has to leave. Final analysis shall be done in morning.

This was the most upsetting of all the victories, as James had know idea what the controls were, but managed to destroy me anyhow. Maybe it was my team choice, maybe James is a sports expert. I'm not sure.

 This is journalism, kids.

After heavy editing and spell-check of the data, I finally determined that when I'm inebriated, my gaming skill tends to drop, drastically. James on the other hand, seems to adapt better to games he's never played when he's drunk. He also seems to be a superior sports fiend on alcohol. We'll have to try this again soon with A) More people. B) More games C) A bigger variety of games to fully understand what booze does to the gamer and his skills.