Why Koffing is better than you!

Koffing, or Dogars if you live in Japan, is a Poison Gas Pokémon who doesn't seem to get the respect it deserves. This strikes me as odd, dear reader, as Koffing is far superior to you in pretty much every way possible. Let's take a look at while this grinning ball of gas is better than you.

Yeah, way better than you.

- Koffing is capable of floating. You can't. Koffing is better than you.
- Koffing is purple. You are not. Koffing is better than you.
- Koffing has skull and Crossbones on it's body, they're natural. Yours is a shitty tattoo. Koffing is better than you.
- Koffing is a Pokémon. You are a human. Koffing is far superior to you.
- Koffing can explode. You aren't a terrorist. Koffing wins.

That's pretty much all the reasons I need. So do yourself a favor, go catch a Koffing. You'll be glad you did...



...Bitch.

- Kyle K.