Retronexus: The Goonies II

What? You say never heard of The Goonies II for the NES? Its only one of the greatest non-movie movie games on any system out there. It even made people think that there was actually going to be a Goonies II movie. In actuality though it is a sequel to the NES game that was also put into the arcade. Though this probably did lead to some confusion because the Goonies game was only released in the United States and not in Japan or Europe.

That's right you can have a mermaid in the palm of your hand!

So the plot of the game is actually told not in game at all but through a television at the beginning of the game. Its like they left you your own personal kidnapping message. Basically it boils down to the Fratellis have kidnapped your friends and a mermaid that you apparently know (note: there is no mention of a mermaid in the movie at all). So you as Mikey set out to rescue the rest of the Goonies and free your mermaid friend Annie. After the short cutscent there is no mention of it at all. Literally you can play the game not even knowing what the plot is let alone your end goal. Lastly there is sadly no Sloth.

Why does Konami get thanked?! They didn't go into a Volcano to save you!

The game itself is a mix between an adventure platformer and a first person exploration game, think Metroid mixed with Shadowgate. You could consider it as one or the other because you go through both sections alot. The platforming sections are like your traditional sidescroller with you facing the likes of snakes, dragons, animated suits of armour and even meat-cleaver throwing Eskimos. Of course there are also the Fratelli family themselves (minus Sloth) with the two brothers shooting you with both bullets and arrows while you traverse the maze like areas. And of course the Mama of both of them throws bombs at you on top of that. They even brought along a cousin which never existed until the game and he just jumps that you. Oh did I also mention that the Fratellis except for the cousin who is this short little, fat thing are unkillable? When you deal enough damage they only decide to leave you alone for a little bit and return later on making them a large annoyance throughout the game. For the first person sections your just going through a bunch of rooms with the options of go, hit, take and tools. Very simple options eh? Also apparently the Fratellis have also kidnapped an old man (who operates as a warp zone), an old lady (gives the player advice along with a candle after you beat her up in one room), Konami Man (who heals you), a Eskimo (whos only purpose is to tell you hes an Eskimo) , a fish man (gives you items), and Ambassador Konami (tells you to rescue all the Goonies to save Annie). All these other "hostages" only appear in the first person exploration areas of the game.

You may be a little bit trapped here

You know how I mentioned earlier that the game is mazelike? Well you have absolutely no idea where to go. So it basically copies the design of Metroid but at least there isn't a time ending for this one as it would be impossible to get. There is also an item system like Zelda where you have a variety of tools available to you and the usual you can't reach certain areas without the right tool. It even has Zelda's primary weapon and secondary item slot system. It still works great though so you can't knock them for using what works.

The game also has one great line in it being "Ouch! What will you do?". Just this is really one thing the game is known for. Not like it has many since it maintains a cult following among the people who have played it.

When you start hitting old men you know a maze is getting to you

So now you know about the Goonies II! A game that made people hope for a Goonies II even more. But its another one of those little games that has a cult following and who knows maybe one day you will add yourself to their numbers?

-Ryan P.